Sad news but its true

1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

And lastly...

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.

SDLC

Definition:

• A software development process is a structure imposed on the development of a software product. Synonyms include software development life cycle (SDLC) and software process. There are several models for such processes, each describing approaches to a variety of tasks or activities that take place during the process.
  

Task or Activities involved:

• Requirements
  
• Specification
  
• Architecture
  
• Design
  
• Implementation
  
• Testing
  
• Deployment
  
• Maintenance
  

Models:

• Agile
  
• Cleanroom
  
• Iterative
  
• RAD
  
• RUP
  
• Spiral
  
• Waterfall
  
• XP
  
• Scrum
  

Support Disciplines:

• Configuration management
  
• Documentation
  
• Quality assurance (SQA)
  
• Project management
  
• User experience design
  

Tools:

• Performance analysis
  
• Debugger
  

Processes and meta-processes:

• A growing body of software development organizations implements process methodologies. Many of them are in the defense industry, which in the U.S. requires a rating based on 'process models' to obtain contracts. The international standard for describing the method of selecting, implementing and monitoring the life cycle for software is ISO 12207.
  

• The Capability Maturity Model (CMM) is one of the leading models. Independent assessments grade organizations on how well they follow their defined processes, not on the quality of those processes or the software produced. CMM is gradually replaced by CMMI. ISO 9000 describes standards for formally organizing processes with documentation.
  

  
  

• ISO 15504, also known as Software Process Improvement Capability Determination (SPICE), is a "framework for the assessment of software processes". This standard is aimed at setting out a clear model for process comparison. SPICE is used much like CMM and CMMI. It models processes to manage, control, guide and monitor software development. This model is then used to measure what a development organization or project team actually does during software development. This information is analyzed to identify weaknesses and drive improvement. It also identifies strengths that can be continued or integrated into common practice for that organization or team.
  

  
  

• Six Sigma is a methodology to manage process variations that uses data and statistical analysis to measure and improve a company's operational performance. It works by identifying and eliminating defects in manufacturing and service-related processes. The maximum permissible defect is 3.4 per one million opportunities. However, Six Sigma is manufacturing-oriented and needs further research on its relevance to software development.

Watching two movies on same day...

Have you ever tried watching two movies on same day, Yep not in television or DVD, I meant in theatre. It’s really a different experience to watch two movies consecutively on theatre. Which makes u feel bit headache, it fully about the type of movies we watch and based on our health conditions.

I have watched like this many times with my pals and enjoyed a lot those days…

This may sound crazy but v frnds like it..

Keep ur face clean and clear

In today's world where we are living and breathing in a polluted environment which is damaged due to harmful chemicals and gases one needs to do a little more care about their health and looks. Face is the mirror of a person's looks and one gives more attention in taking care of the face.

There are so many creams, lotions, scrubbers are available in market today to make your facial skin more radian and beautiful. Where some are chemical based, toady's favourite are herbal cosmetics which are based on natural items as fruits, vegetables, grains etc.

These days face packs, peels, scrubbers, soaps, face wash everything is getting made by natural and herbal things. So even we can make a variety of face masks with the things available in our kitchen at home which can save lots of money and can make skin beautiful without any side effects.

Here are few home made masks which can be applied easily on face and neck to remove the dull skin and make it fresh and beautiful. Some mask can be applied everyday and some can be applied only once a week.

Gram Flour mask-take two spoon of gram flour, add a pinch of turmeric to it, few drops of lemon juice and mix them together with water or rose water. Apply it on face and neck till it get 3/4 th dry and then scrub and wash it. Apply moisturizer on face afterthat.

Clay pack-this pack is very good for oily skin. Take mud clay powder its easily available in the market, add water or rose water in . make a paste, apply it on the face and wash it when it gets dry.

Sandalwood power pack-its very useful for oily skin or the skin which has blemishes or pimple marks on face. Take a spoon of sandalwood powder, add rose water to it, make a paste and apply it on face and neck. Wash it when dry. It will give the skin a neat and radiant look.

Milk Powder pack-this pack is useful for those who have dry skin. Taek a spoonful of milk powder and add a few drops of lemon juice to it. Make a paste and apply on face. Wash away after 20 minutes.

Most of the home made face masks are gram flour or clay based. Where we can add any other things to them to give the skin a look as if facial has been done.

• Take a spoon of gram flour, add a pinch of turmeric powder to it and a few drops of milk or milk cream and make the paste with orange juice. Apply it on face and leave it till it gets dry.
• Take a spoon of wheat flour, add a pinch of turmeric, few drops of lemon juice to it and make the paste with raw milk. Apply it on face and remove it when half dried as a scrubber. It removes all dirt from face and gives it a luminous look. This pack can be applied all over the body too to remove the dead skin from it.
• Take a spoon of honey and add few drops of lemon to it apply on face and wash after few minutes. It helps to remove sun tan.
• Mash a papaya and apply on face. Wash after few minutes.
• Mash a banana and apply on face and neck. Wash it off after 15 minutes.
• Take tomato juice and add a pich of turmeric and clay powder to it. Make a paste and apply on face and neck. This pack helps in reducing the size of open pores.
• Soak some rice grain in water overnight. Then grind them and make a paste. Add little milk in it and apply this pack on face. Scrub it gently when dry. It removes dead skin and black heads from the skin.
• Dry orange peels in sun and make a powder or them. You can fill and keep this powder in a container for future use. Take a spoonful of this powder, add raw milk to it. Apply it on face and neck. It cleans the skin and whitens the complexion.
• Same way rather then taking orange peels, you can take lemon peels and make powder of it when dry. Add the same things and make a paste to pply on face and neck.
• Cucumber is a very good astringent. Cucumber juice and slices can be applied on face and neck.
• Water melon paste can be applied on sun burnt skin to soothe and cool it.
• Take tomato juice, orange juice and cucumber juice add a little clay powder or sandalwood powder or gram flour to these juices and apply it on face.

So try these home made face packs and surprise everybody by your looks.

high end laptops for the students !!

Dear Friends,

ELCOT (Electronics Corporation of Tamil Nadu Limited) is providing high end laptops for the students (LKG to any degree) studying in Tamil Nadu at a very lower price (approx. Rs.20000/-). Kindly spread the information and make use of it.

The total information and processing (Info about laptop, registration and payment) is made online!!!

Check it out!!!

http://www.elcot.in/NewStudentLaptop/index.php

Harry

Brad and Harely Recruitment Service

Most of the peoples has got the below mail....

[color="Red"]from: BradandHarley
reply-to: BradandHarley
to:
date: Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 7:24 PM
subject: , we have a job offer for you.
mailed-by: bradnharley.com

Hi ,

I am Mark Maine from Brad and Harley Recruitment Services, UK.

We are a premium employment agency in the Canada and an active
employer on TIMESJOBS.COM where you have posted your CV.

This is to inform you that we are interested to know
more about you as we have vacancies available for your
field of work and we have found you a suitable candidate for it.

If you are still looking for a job, please take the following steps to
complete your information.

1. We have already created your profile on BradandHarley.com.

2. You can complete the required information by logging on to
http://www.bradandharley.com/login.php using

Login:
Password:

Once your cv is complete you will be able to see the current job
offers we have for you.

If you are not looking for a job anymore or you do not want to
continue due to some other reason, simply unsubscribe following the
instruction at the end of this email.


Cheers,

Mark Maine
Director Recruitment
BradandHarley.com
info@bradandharley.com
+1 (801) 217-7750

-------------------------------------------------

P.[color="Red"]S. We do not charge candidates at any stage so if you recieve any
email asking you to make any payments, please inform us at
info@bradandharley.com

-------------------------------
UNSUBSCRIBE
-------------------------------

This message is for the recepient only.
If you are not , please inform us at
info@bradandharley.com. You can always unsubscribe
from any further emails by pasting the following URL
into your browser.



Also, when i visited their page where where they said to have created a profile for me, they had all my info possibly collected from timesjobs.com..
They have made an offer for the post of assistant admin in a company whose name has not been mentioned @ $45000 p.a. which is too good to believe & to be real..job location is in Montreal, Canada..

This is a fraudulent site which is a fake and this site is also avail in canada and UK...

Please don't pay any money to this site... thr are lot of users who has lost money n this..

chk below link for more details...

http://www.fraudwatchers.org/forums/showthread.php?p=54371

http://answers.yahoo.co.nz/question/index?qid=20080617211003AADiW69

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080620070841AAe0kvB

DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:

Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

METHOD OF TREATMENT

1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases:

1. High Blood Pressure (30 days)
2. Gastric (10 days)
3. Diabetes (30 days)
4. Constipation (10 days)
5. Cancer (180 days)
6. TB (90 days)
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards – daily.

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.

It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.

It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.

Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.

Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks:

• Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting,
• Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
• You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
• Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
• 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
• Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

My first blog Day 1

Welcome to reality

Just Chill out