10 reasons why PCs crash U must Know

10 reasons why PCs crash U must Know

Fatal error: the system has become unstable or is busy," it says. "Enter to return to Windows or press Control-Alt-Delete to restart your computer. If you do this you will lose any unsaved information in all open applications."

You have just been struck by the Blue Screen of Death. Anyone who uses Mcft Windows will be familiar with this. What can you do? More importantly, how can you prevent it happening?

1, Hardware conflict

The number one reason why Windows crashes is hardware conflict. Each hardware device communicates to other devices through an interrupt request channel (IRQ). These are supposed to be unique for each device.

For example, a printer usually connects internally on IRQ 7. The keyboard usually uses IRQ 1 and the floppy disk drive IRQ 6. Each device will try to hog a single IRQ for itself.

If there are a lot of devices, or if they are not installed properly, two of them may end up sharing the same IRQ number. When the user tries to use both devices at the same time, a crash can happen. The way to check if your computer has a hardware conflict is through the following route:

* Start-Settings-Control Panel-System-Device Manager.

Often if a device has a problem a yellow '!' appears next to its description in the Device Manager. Highlight Computer (in the Device Manager) and press Properties to see the IRQ numbers used by your computer. If the IRQ number appears twice, two devices may be using it.

Sometimes a device might share an IRQ with something described as 'IRQ holder for PCI steering'. This can be ignored. The best way to fix this problem is to remove the problem device and reinstall it.

Sometimes you may have to find more recent drivers on the internet to make the device function properly. A good resource is www.driverguide.com. If the device is a soundcard, or a modem, it can often be fixed by moving it to a different slot on the motherboard (be careful about opening your computer, as you may void the warranty).

When working inside a computer you should switch it off, unplug the mains lead and touch an unpainted metal surface to discharge any static electricity.

To be fair to Mcft, the problem with IRQ numbers is not of its making. It is a legacy problem going back to the first PC designs using the IBM 8086 chip. Initially there were only eight IRQs. Today there are 16 IRQs in a PC. It is easy to run out of them. There are plans to increase the number of IRQs in future designs.

2, Bad Ram

Ram (random-access memory) problems might bring on the blue screen of death with a message saying Fatal Exception Error. A fatal error indicates a serious hardware problem. Sometimes it may mean a part is damaged and will need replacing.

But a fatal error caused by Ram might be caused by a mismatch of chips. For example, mixing 70-nanosecond (70ns) Ram with 60ns Ram will usually force the computer to run all the Ram at the slower speed. This will often crash the machine if the Ram is overworked.

One way around this problem is to enter the BIOS settings and increase the wait state of the Ram. This can make it more stable. Another way to troubleshoot a suspected Ram problem is to rearrange the Ram chips on the motherboard, or take some of them out. Then try to repeat the circumstances that caused the crash. When handling Ram try not to touch the gold connections, as they can be easily damaged.

Parity error messages also refer to Ram. Modern Ram chips are either parity (ECC) or non parity (non-ECC). It is best not to mix the two types, as this can be a cause of trouble.

EMM386 error messages refer to memory problems but may not be connected to bad Ram. This may be due to free memory problems often linked to old Dos-based programmes.

3, BIOS settings

Every motherboard is supplied with a range of chipset settings that are decided in the factory. A common way to access these settings is to press the F2 or delete button during the first few seconds of a boot-up.

Once inside the BIOS, great care should be taken. It is a good idea to write down on a piece of paper all the settings that appear on the screen. That way, if you change something and the computer becomes more unstable, you will know what settings to revert to.

A common BIOS error concerns the CAS latency. This refers to the Ram. Older EDO (extended data out) Ram has a CAS latency of 3. Newer SDRam has a CAS latency of 2. Setting the wrong figure can cause the Ram to lock up and freeze the computer's display.

Mcft Windows is better at allocating IRQ numbers than any BIOS. If possible set the IRQ numbers to Auto in the BIOS. This will allow Windows to allocate the IRQ numbers (make sure the BIOS setting for Plug and Play OS is switched to 'yes' to allow Windows to do this.).

4, Hard disk drives

After a few weeks, the information on a hard disk drive starts to become piecemeal or fragmented. It is a good idea to defragment the hard disk every week or so, to prevent the disk from causing a screen freeze. Go to

* Start-Programs-Accessories-System Tools-Disk Defragmenter

This will start the procedure. You will be unable to write data to the hard drive (to save it) while the disk is defragmenting, so it is a good idea to schedule the procedure for a period of inactivity using the Task Scheduler.

The Task Scheduler should be one of the small icons on the bottom right of the Windows opening page (the desktop).

Some lockups and screen freezes caused by hard disk problems can be solved by reducing the read-ahead optimisation. This can be adjusted by going to

* Start-Settings-Control Panel-System Icon-Performance-File System-Hard Disk.

Hard disks will slow down and crash if they are too full. Do some housekeeping on your hard drive every few months and free some space on it. Open the Windows folder on the C drive and find the Temporary Internet Files folder. Deleting the contents (not the folder) can free a lot of space.

Empty the Recycle Bin every week to free more space. Hard disk drives should be scanned every week for errors or bad sectors. Go to

* Start-Programs-Accessories-System Tools-ScanDisk

Otherwise assign the Task Scheduler to perform this operation at night when the computer is not in use.

5, Fatal OE exceptions and VXD errors

Fatal OE exception errors and VXD errors are often caused by video card problems.

These can often be resolved easily by reducing the resolution of the video display. Go to

* Start-Settings-Control Panel-Display-Settings

Here you should slide the screen area bar to the left. Take a look at the colour settings on the left of that window. For most desktops, high colour 16-bit depth is adequate.

If the screen freezes or you experience system lockups it might be due to the video card. Make sure it does not have a hardware conflict. Go to

* Start-Settings-Control Panel-System-Device Manager

Here, select the + beside Display Adapter. A line of text describing your video card should appear. Select it (make it blue) and press properties. Then select Resources and select each line in the window. Look for a message that says No Conflicts.

If you have video card hardware conflict, you will see it here. Be careful at this point and make a note of everything you do in case you make things worse.

The way to resolve a hardware conflict is to uncheck the Use Automatic Settings box and hit the Change Settings button. You are searching for a setting that will display a No Conflicts message.

Another useful way to resolve video problems is to go to

* Start-Settings-Control Panel-System-Performance-Graphics

Here you should move the Hardware Acceleration slider to the left. As ever, the most common cause of problems relating to graphics cards is old or faulty drivers (a driver is a small piece of software used by a computer to communicate with a device).

Look up your video card's manufacturer on the internet and search for the most recent drivers for it.

6, Viruses

Often the first sign of a virus infection is instability. Some viruses erase the boot sector of a hard drive, making it impossible to start. This is why it is a good idea to create a Windows start-up disk. Go to

* Start-Settings-Control Panel-Add/Remove Programs

Here, look for the Start Up Disk tab. Virus protection requires constant vigilance.

A virus scanner requires a list of virus signatures in order to be able to identify viruses. These signatures are stored in a DAT file. DAT files should be updated weekly from the website of your antivirus software manufacturer.

An excellent antivirus programme is McAfee VirusScan by Network Associates ( www.nai.com). Another is Norton AntiVirus 2000, made by Symantec ( www.symantec.com).

7, Printers

The action of sending a document to print creates a bigger file, often called a postscript file.

Printers have only a small amount of memory, called a buffer. This can be easily overloaded. Printing a document also uses a considerable amount of CPU power. This will also slow down the computer's performance.

If the printer is trying to print unusual characters, these might not be recognised, and can crash the computer. Sometimes printers will not recover from a crash because of confusion in the buffer. A good way to clear the buffer is to unplug the printer for ten seconds. Booting up from a powerless state, also called a cold boot, will restore the printer's default settings and you may be able to carry on.

8, Software

A common cause of computer crash is faulty or badly-installed software. Often the problem can be cured by uninstalling the software and then reinstalling it. Use Norton Uninstall or Uninstall Shield to remove an application from your system properly. This will also remove references to the programme in the System Registry and leaves the way clear for a completely fresh copy.

The System Registry can be corrupted by old references to obsolete software that you thought was uninstalled. Use Reg Cleaner by Jouni Vuorio to clean up the System Registry and remove obsolete entries. It works on Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows 98 SE (Second Edition), Windows Millennium Edition (ME), NT4 and Windows 2000.

Read the instructions and use it carefully so you don't do permanent damage to the Registry. If the Registry is damaged you will have to reinstall your operating system. Reg Cleaner can be obtained from www.jv16.org

Often a Windows problem can be resolved by entering Safe Mode. This can be done during start-up. When you see the message "Starting Windows" press F4. This should take you into Safe Mode.

Safe Mode loads a minimum of drivers. It allows you to find and fix problems that prevent Windows from loading properly.

Sometimes installing Windows is difficult because of unsuitable BIOS settings. If you keep getting SUWIN error messages (Windows setup) during the Windows installation, then try entering the BIOS and disabling the CPU internal cache. Try to disable the Level 2 (L2) cache if that doesn't work.

Remember to restore all the BIOS settings back to their former settings following installation.

9, Overheating

Central processing units (CPUs) are usually equipped with fans to keep them cool. If the fan fails or if the CPU gets old it may start to overheat and generate a particular kind of error called a kernel error. This is a common problem in chips that have been overclocked to operate at higher speeds than they are supposed to.

One remedy is to get a bigger better fan and install it on top of the CPU. Specialist cooling fans/heatsinks are available from www.computernerd.com or www.coolit.com

CPU problems can often be fixed by disabling the CPU internal cache in the BIOS. This will make the machine run more slowly, but it should also be more stable.

10, Power supply problems

With all the new construction going on around the country the steady supply of electricity has become disrupted. A power surge or spike can crash a computer as easily as a power cut.

If this has become a nuisance for you then consider buying a uninterrupted power supply (UPS). This will give you a clean power supply when there is electricity, and it will give you a few minutes to perform a controlled shutdown in case of a power cut.

It is a good investment if your data are critical, because a power cut will cause any unsaved data to be lost.

Last Evacuation Drill

XYZ Office : A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees
are in office(approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within
3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins
passed..................................5 more mins passed.

Security Officer -> Announcement started, "Dear Employees - With melting
heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a
last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee. While
moving in who-so-ever ID card won't work are layed off & all their
belongings will be  couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this
approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in

thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office". 

Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in & try your luck.

Browser Power Consumption

Browser Power Consumption

By Robert Hansen
Date: 12/01/2008

Preface: In the modern era of green energy and power conservation, it is worth looking at methods of conservation that are closer to the average consumer. In combining the areas of modern browser security and the power needs of "rich" or dynamic web pages, an interesting crossover appears, that shows the two concepts work hand in hand with computer power conservation. While this exercise was not a real scientific study, it provided enough evidence to point to clear areas of power consumption in every day web applications.

Overview: By using simple tools, like a Kill A Watt and Windows' own Task Manager, the two provided enough anecdotal evidence to prove what sorts of websites tend to draw the most amperage. By multiplying amperage by voltage, it becomes rather easy to estimate the average draw. However, variance in the amperage over time makes measurements more complex and therefore this cannot be called a scientific study. However, by estimating the average, and performing the tests 100 times per browser, it was quickly apparent which types of sites were causing the most power drain.

SecTheory started with the Alexa 100 for the United States (as of October 24th, 2008), and performed an analysis of amperage over time against the two major browsers (Internet Explorer 7.0 and Firefox 3.0.4), to average out any anomalies. The tests were performed on a standard Dell Inspiron B130 notebook, with a 1.5GHz Celeron M processor and 1 Gig of ram, running fully patched Windows XP SP2. During idling, with no extraneous open processes other than Windows Task Manager and the browser, the normal amperage was measured at .36-.39. When the screensaver was on, the system continued to draw the same power, however, when the power save mode was enabled and the screen turned off the system drew only .23-.25 amps, proving power save on monitors does provide power savings.

Both browsers were fully patched, running the current builds. Both had JavaScript, Java, Flash and Silverlight - the most common client side dynamic programming languages. Of course with browser differences, some technologies were available to some browsers and not others, but no custom settings were enabled. Both browsers were "out of the box". Both browsers block popups naturally, which would have certainly made some sites far more abusive in power needs had they not been enabled, but in the spirit of trying to make both browsers as average as possible, no special settings were changed to provoke an excessive power need as an outcome. We did not click to allow any popups, requests to use or install add-ons or plugins and so on. This surely reduced the power load, but by an unknown amount.

The system itself has built in speakers, which were turned on, which clearly needs power for any sounds or music played by websites. Also, the laptop was using a standard Wireless 802.11b connection using its built in wireless card - which naturally will drive more power on network access, however, this was deemed to be okay, since it was consistent between each browser and across the entire experiment and is commonly used in homes and companies.

Caveats and Assumptions: The major assumption was that the most important measurement was not the amount of wattage pulled as the page loaded, but rather long term power consumption as the browser idled. Of course, users who switch pages often, and have many tabs open will naturally draw more power, but this measurement was far more erratic and difficult to measure. Between each site loaded, the browser was returned to about:blank and the power consumption was stabilized. The goal of this was to reduce the bleed-over of power needs due to onunload event handlers, and so on.

While it was clear that some of the front pages of websites aren't in any way the most abusive when it comes to power usage, rather than trying to illicit a response, we simply wanted a large sampling of the most popular sites. That said, some home pages were nothing more than introductions, and were completely non representative of the actual pages people spend most of their time on. Examples are the profile pages on MySpace, the movies on Youtube, the auctions on eBay and so on.

Like discounting onunload event handlers by waiting for power fluctuations to stabilize between tests, we did our best to reduce "noise" in other ways. By waiting for the page to complete its loading process we removed the network chatter of DNS lookups, 301/302 redirections, first time setting of cookies and more. However, landing pages that said things like "please click here to continue" were not clicked in order to reduce the power needs associated to onmouseover, onhover and onclick event handlers within the browsers. We spent no time analyzing the power consumption differences between http or https but the negotiation of the requests would have been ignored as initial page load fluctuation anyway since we did not use a stable test bed, but rather the live Internet. Although we understand that the average consumer will wait no longer than an average of 8 seconds, we often waited much longer for pages to stabilize before measuring them.

We urge the reader not to take any single value and over analyze the information, as there are a number of variables at play. Only by looking at the numbers in aggregate can any significantly accurate information be gleaned. There was a great deal of potential for human error as some measurements fluctuated heavily long after the page "stabilized" from its initial page loading. Other sites may look different between browsers, or even changed their layouts between the two tests (a good example of this is news sites that change their content extremely often). As a result, it was difficult to reliably guarantee that the page was the same between the multiple runs without built test-beds that were incapable of changing. Therefore, the numbers should be considered only a collective average, rather than looking at any single website metric. Nevertheless, the raw data is available here (please note some of the URLs contain explicit materials).

The Results: There were several significant results that were found during the tests. The first was that the most important attribute of a website in terms of power consumption appears to be things like Flash animations and AJAX. These draw a significant amount of power long after the page has completed. During the tests it was found that the amperage tracked almost perfectly with the task manager CPU graph, visually giving clues as to timed events. For instance, this graph was taken of gamespot.com during the page load spike and clearly shows the spikes of the power usage over time, associated with dynamic timed changes to the website:

This made "eyeballing" the power usage very difficult of course. To make matters worse there were many different types of sites that used this type of rotation for various means. For instance apple.com which looks nearly completely static has a news rotation banner that cycles every few seconds as well, and produces a similar power consumption/CPU graph. Other sites have movies that play for anywhere between ten seconds up to minutes on end. While it's unlikely that most people would sit through the entire movie and continue to idle on those pages, for consistency's sake, if we could sit through it we would. However, it was clear that a single web-page that an average user can interact with, can and does completely peg the CPU. This test should be repeated using faster multi-core hardware architecture to test the sensitivity to web surfing.

The number one most abusive technology appeared to be Flash banner ads. For the most part they are no different than the rest of the site, except that they continue to rotate. They could have easily been programmed to stop rotating after a few seconds, to return the site to a conservative power usage, but they weren't. While other technologies can and did cause power spikes, they caused issues far less often than Flash, making it the least "green" technology we came across. However, JavaScript, Java, VBScript and Silverlight all easily could have caused problems, and they should not be discounted as possible culprits for power consumption.

Going on this theory we took one of the browsers (Firefox 3.0.4) and installed two plugins, NoScript and Adblock Plus. These plugins are two of the most popular for the Firefox browser and both attempt to reduce the annoyances of the Internet by taking measures to white list (in the case of NoScript) and black list (in the case of Adblock Plus). We then took the ten worst offenders and ran them again using Firefox with Noscript and Adblock Plus. The results spoke for themselves:

Browser	Amperage	Watts
Average across entire Alexa 100 in Internet Explorer 7.0	0.414	48.852
Average across entire Alexa 100 in Firefox 3.0.4	0.406	47.908
Average for top 10 power abusers in Internet Explorer 7.0	0.474	55.932
Average for top 10 power abusers in Firefox 3.0.4	0.481	56.758
Average for top 10 power abusers in Firefox 3.0.4 with NoScript and Adblock Plus	0.382	45.076

Given that the normal idling power consumption was between .36 and .39, the fact that Firefox with NoScript and Adblock Plus scored .382 Amps (45.076 Watts), it showed how significant dynamic client side technologies and advertisements are to overall power usage of the average consumer. That's easy to prove since that's exactly what NoScript and Adblock Plus were designed to stop. While the average may not seem significantly different if you look at only the average across all sites, if you compare it against the worst abusers of power, there is a significant improvement (0.1 Amps and over 11 Watts better over the Firefox 3.0.4 without the plugins). To put that in perspective, that's the same savings as it costs to run a 11 Watt compact fluourescent light.

Conclusions: It does appear that it would be possible to surf in a "green" manner. That is, reducing the amount of client side scripting that runs within the browser, returning the browser to a static page while not viewing the page or closing the browser when not in use, and using power save modes built into the operating system. While the differences may appear to be minor in power usage, power consumption does add up over time.

The best way to conserve, of course, is to unplug equipment that is not being used, as even while turned off the laptop still pulled aproximately .01 amps, but while the browser is turned on, there do appear to be ways to surf in a manner that can reduce the power impact. Ultimately, there was no clear "winner" between the two browsers as to which was a less costly for power consumption, without the help of third party software. However, hopefully this paper will serve as a launching pad for future more scientific studies. It should not be considered the de facto authority on the subject, but rather a guide to help future researchers.

Thanks: Special thanks to James Flom for technical oversight and Mauricio Pineda for editing help (Source and details from http://www.sectheory.com/browser-power-consumption.htm).

Careful Mobile phone users.

If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person, saying that, he or she is a company engineer, or telling that they're checking your mobile line, and you have to press # 90 or #09 or any other number. End this call immediately without pressing any numbers. There is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90 or #09 they can access your "SIM" card and make calls at your expense.

ALSO

All mobile users pay attention!!!!!!!!!

If you receive a phone call and your mobile phone displays (XALAN) on the screen don't answer the call, END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY, if you answer the call, your phone will be infected by a virus. This virus WILL ERASE all IMEI and IMSI information from both your phone and your SIM card, which will make your phone unable to connect with the telephone network. You will have to buy a new phone. This information has been confirmed by both Motorola and Nokia. There are over 3 Million mobile phones being infected by this virus in all around the world now. You can also check this news in the CNN web site.

www.f-secure.com/hoaxes/cf_virus.shtml

What happened in US for the banks to go bankrupt

Those who wanted to know what happened in US for the banks to go bankrupt… read the below explanation… nothing better than this. Language may be a bit difficult… But you will get a picture which you may be able to relate to Indian realty…. Read this…
Read It. Very good explanation!!!

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

*A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.
* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.
* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

4) A saw that the land he once owned has raised in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a result, A now owned a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars. But since he owed B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.
* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up.

(5) B saw that the value of land kept rising. He also wanted to own the land. So he bought the land from A for 4 dollars. The payment is by borrowing 2 dollars from C, and cancellation of his 2 dollars loan to A.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is 2 dollars.
* B owned a piece of land that is worth 4 dollars, but since he has a debt of 2 dollars with C, his net Asset is 2 dollars.
* C loaned 2 dollars to B, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 6 dollars; even though, the country has only one piece of land and 2 Dollars in circulation.

(6) Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

(7) One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C's mind. "Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan? There is only 2 dollars in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only 1 dollar, and no more."

(8) "A" also thought the same way.

(9) Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the 2 dollar coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B owed C 2 dollars and the land he owned which he thought worth 4 dollars is now 1 dollar. So his net asset is only 1 dollar.
* C has a loan of 2 dollars to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still 2 dollars, his Heart is palpitating.
* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars again.

(10) So, who has stolen the 3 dollars from the country? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth 4 dollars. Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was 6 dollars on paper. B's net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

(11) B had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. C as to relinquish his 2 dollars bad debt to B, but in return he acquired the land which is worth 1 dollar now.

* A owns the 2 coins; his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B is bankrupt; his net asset is 0 dollar. (He lost everything)
* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar

* the net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

**************End of the story; BUT ***************************

There is however a redistribution of wealth.
A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.
A few points worth noting -

(1) when a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.
(2) This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated using the island's own currency. Hence, there is no net loss.
(3) An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land's value did not go down to below 1 dollar.
(4) When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.
(5) If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose. But he will see the value of his money or land goes up and down like a see saw.
(6) When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.
(7) If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is worthwhile to borrow money (like A) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.
(8) As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.
(9) The actual worth of land or stocks depends largely on psychology

Sad news but its true

1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

And lastly...

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.